So I finally got the inspiration to write again after a long time. I wanted to release the Jenna Hamilton inside me and just write what I was thinking or what I've realized just moments ago. As much as I want this blog to just be about fashion, food and style, I can't. I can't stop writing. It may seem like I've lost the need to write ever since my life became all about parties and drinking and just going out almost every night. But today it felt different. Although I was planning to go out later, I really saved this time to actually write something, not for me but for you guys who's been patiently reading this blog. :)
Lately I've been trying my best to get back what I lost, the old me. I know people are smart enough to notice how I changed drastically over the months. I guess pain makes people really change huh. But then I realized that sometimes we have to go down through memory lane and just think about those times before we lost ourselves. It takes a lot of courage to tell or show people what we really feel. But we have to admit that things will always screw us up and that whenever we fall, we just have to go back to square one and start all over again.
Sometimes it takes us back to the arms of the people we truly love and the people who truly loves us to feel that we can somehow get back what was lost in ourselves, what was lost when we failed, when we got hurt, when we thought life was tearing us apart. Some situations leads us back to the arms of that person who we know will always be there for us even how tough we've made them feel in the past. It leads us back to the people who we are sure would take us back at any time of the day. The people who would be kind enough to open their doors for us in the middle of the night, to turn their light on for us while we waited in the dark. The people who are willing to listen to us for hours while we rant on how awful we feel, or how awful things in our lives had turned out to be.
Because in those arms we feel safe. We have the security and reassurance that we need once in a while. The feeling of being welcomed in spite all the struggles and pains that we've been through. The feeling of being comfortable in any way possible, because we know that those people who truly loves us won't ever judge us no matter what we do or say.
We may not have felt it in the right time but we eventually felt it in the right situation. In the situation where we knew these people, are the only people who can save us. Because we are sure that these people are always going to have their arms wide open for us. That they are willing to go out of their way to comfort us and make us let go of the heavy things we've been keeping inside.
And mainly because we know we can always trust them, they can always make us feel better, make us feel loved and sometimes, they're the only ones who can light up our situation. They are our comfort zones. Maybe we thought that we lost the feelings already but maybe they were just out of sparks. But the feelings still remained. And maybe, just maybe those feelings will never even fade away. And luckily, they open their arms wide enough for us to crash into them, and make us feel that clearly.. We are home.