Today I've been reflecting on how this year 2014 went by so fast and I realized...
That there's so much I learned and yet to learn, but during the past year I've been really close minded and selfish for some reason. And I am willing to share to you guys what my realizations are all about.
Mommy & Daddy prepare to be proud...... lol not! hahaha
I was always the hopeless romantic type, I'm the one who insists to watch a fairy tale over a horror movie during sleep overs, I'm the one who loves to write letters, read sonnets, doodle names and scribble my crush's initials during class. I'm the one who clings on too much to my friends, loves being a third wheel, obsessed with sending sweet messages to all my close friends and tweet quotes about love, friendship and relationships. But I'd like to believe that I ain't all that now. Of course I still post sweet and cheesy things for my family and friends but I don't over react anymore. I think before I do things now (well I do most of the time haha) mainly because I realized that not everyone is your friend, some of them will use you, take advantage of you or hurt you. This is why I try to stay as close as possible only to the people who's been there for me through the good times and the tough ones. And oh, after all the awkward things that happened to me in the past year, I've had a dose of reality in my system and I finally let go of my crazy illusions that someday someone would as well
write me sonnets and love letters and carve my name on a tree and etc.
I received tons of questions on my ask.fm account about how I survived a break up, how did it feel to finally be able to move on, and things related to that. Let me tell you that I am not a love doctor, I do not even qualify to be one. But I'll be sharing to you the things I learned and hope that this might answer all your questions. Let me start by telling you guys that I have been wanting to write an article about love for the longest time, pretty much about finding it, losing it then finding it again. In all honesty, surviving a break up was not easy. What do I know di'ba? I was only seventeen (turning eighteen) at the time. I was too young. But nobody warned me about how painful it was going to be, not even my parents. Maybe they wanted me to really learn something from it. And so I did. Like I said it was not easy to survive a break up, and what made it worse was the fact that we were on the same school which means that I get to see him almost everyday. But I realized that the hardest part was admitting your wrong doings. The way to move on is to forgive yourself once you realized all your mistakes and to finally let go of all the things you've been holding onto. At some point, I realized that no matter how hard I tried to play by the rules, make all the right moves and be Ms. Perfect, I learned that life isn't always fair and we don't get to stop people from hurting us. But that is the essence of life, loving and living.
I wasn't expecting love to come around anytime soon, I got used to living my life alone (meaning no significant other, boyfriend or anything related to that) I enjoy spending time with my family and friends which fulfilled and poured too much happiness and love in my heart. But it's true when they say that "love comes around in the most unexpected moment" and my moment came a little sooner than I expected. I admit that whenever I pray in my favorite church, other than getting high grades and staying healthy, I also pray for a love that might come my way. I even lost track of how many candles I lit at Church praying that all the pain will go away and it will suddenly be filled with joy and gratefulness. But I learned that it is all a choice. And I chose to be happy. I chose to hold onto the promise of better things to come in my life. I chose to start over and months later, I saw myself smiling in front of a guy who seem to adore me so much. The guy who barely has nothing but still tries to give me everything. And that's when I knew why I had to give up that last relationship, because something better was on its way to me. I'm thankful I waited, because this one turned out to be a keeper.
Necklace: Bazaar | Bag: Kaila (thanks to my friend Renee for this gift!) | Baby Pink Mid Skater Skirt: Kashieca | Gold Bracelet Watch: Citizen | Silver Flat Shoes: Tory Burch | Baby Pink Sweater: Banana Republic
I'd love to write more but it's too much for Social Media and
I don't want to bring up too much anymore but I hope you guys enjoyed this post.
And while I was reading some articles I never posted (I have my reasons haha) I stumbled upon the slideshow video from my Eighteenth Birthday, would love to share it to all of you!