Bittersweet Silhouette

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Sometimes no matter how talkative I am, it's hard to put my feelings into words. Like deep cuts that cannot be healed by just some band aids and rubbing alcohol. I'm done with playing games, keeping secrets, covering lies and brushing them under the rug. I've hurt people enough with all of that, but I've mostly hurt myself. Breaking every piece of what's left inside, you really can't fight fire with fire. 

It's so easy to settle with what's in front of you, without thinking of other mishaps that may happen. You settle with what you know, what you are sure of. I was scared, a weakling, a coward. Settling for what's safe, for what's secured. Disregarding the unsatisfying moments and trying to replace them with a fake smile on this lifeless face. I was in love with the idea of someone, someone I knew I'd never have. I was in love with the idea of being wanted so much, but instead I was kicked around over and over again. And I don't want to be scared anymore. 

As much as I want to share everything here on my blog, I just literally can't. I'm drained and all dried up. So instead of writing my sob story here and bore you all with my teenage rants, here's a lyrics of a song I've been listening to the whole night. Hope that helps you figure things out! Because I can't even figure them out myself. 


"Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong.

We are the reckless,
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there."

- Youth, Daughter

3 comments:

  1. Hopefully you will feel better soon. I know how it feels there is so much to say and have no clue what or how to say it. It is times like that where taking a step back and regrouping is the best.

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  2. I hope things turn around soon, sending you love! xxxxx

    www.romantiquely.com

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