I have been
comfortably living for the past months and by "comfortably" meaning waking up late in the afternoon, mostly over sleeping. starting my day watching my favorite TV shows, eating out for lunch, binge watching American series, putting facial masks on whenever I feel like it, going to blogger events, blogging only when I feel inspired to do so and other things that people my age do during summer or winter break - except I am not on a break. My life has been passing by just as it should be and although I am happy with how it has been turning out, I feel like I can always do MORE.
Although in my defense, at least I do not depend on my parents financially which is kind of a big thing for me. Same as every human being who's been practically controlled over by their family growing up and hating it for a moment but realized that it actually brought them to a greater good. I have also craved for and still craving for independence. Something I think everyone has hoped for once in their lives and there might be a lot who were able to achieve this, but there's also still some who hasn't. I of course, am a part of the latter. But today, as I was buying things that I don't think I'll ever need but still continued to purchase because I'm a stubborn, self loathing kind of person. I realized that I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to share and do what I love every single day and that I can do every little thing that I have always dreamed about.
Everyday I wake up with a smile on my face and ready to do the things that I want - but today was different. Normal people would call it enlightenment but I prefer for it to be called a rude awakening. Although it was a bit of a surprise, I still couldn't have planned out the things that I need to do if it weren't for my Dad's last draw and now I really have to keep my shit together. I must say, I am pretty proud of myself for being able to come up with plans that instant.
Things I NEED to do:
- Move into a new place.
- Focus on building a career in the industry that I've always been interested in.
- Stand up for something I immensely believe in.
- Save up for the future and STOP shopping for things I SERIOUSLY do NOT need.
- Learn to do house chores to be able to live independently.
Tonight, as I badly wanted to prove things to myself I decided to wash a few of the clothes that I shopped for yesterday. I have yet to see the result since I hand-washed everything and did not opt to use the washing machine and dryer (YAS!) so I have to wait until tomorrow for the clothes to completely dry out. I've also packed 90% of my stuff and cleaned the room where I'm staying at so I could easily move into this new place. I'm planning to move as early as this weekend but with my family arriving from New Zealand, I think I'll have to delay it for a few more days. I'm really hoping that all my plans will work out well so I don't have to worry my parents again and assure them that I got this shit. Because I really do!!
PS. I'm happy I'm finally able to follow my OWN decisions and not someone else's. #SoAdult